Celeb Sightings

I have an abysmal record of recognizing celebrities and pseudo-celebs in the real world. The last time I was in NYC, I found myself strolling along behind Jay Leno for minutes until I finally realized that all the smiles and stares of passersby were not, to my dismay, directed at me but at the owner of the significantly more voluminous head of hair in front of me. But for some reason, the celebrity gods have smiled upon me this year and thrown some very unforgettable stars in my direction.

In order of how much I want to date them (from most to least), here are the three most recent sightings. I've also included then and now pictures for your amusement.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar aka ZACH Freakin' MORRIS

He's seriously adorable. And his hair defies all laws of gravity. As Emory's 2010 Class Day Speaker, Zach (yeah, I really can't call him by his real name) reminded many of us why this guy was our first crush and reassured us that sixteen years after Saved by the Bell went off the air, he can still make us swoon.

Owen Wilson

See his signature above. I watched him write it, probably with a little bit of drool hanging out, at Emory's outdoor pool, where I've worked for the past few years. In Atlanta to shoot Hall Pass, Wilson fancied a bit of a swim and thought the best place to go unrecognized was at a college campus with students reading People magazine at poolside. He even used those little hand-flipper things. Definitely not conspicuous. Ranking him at number 2 was a close call, since he and Zach are equally hunky, but his downfall was that he wore a plaid shirt - I've mentioned how I feel about this - in 90 degree weather.

Ahhnuld Schwarzenegger

      

Sorry Arnold, you are a huge human being and your hand is bigger than my face, so you are number 3 on my list of dateability. But you did, as promised, "pump me up" during the keynote address at commencement, so you hold a soft spot in my heart. All politics aside, the Governator was an entertaining and fun commencement speaker. Parts of his speech read more like a comedy routine, and the most memorialized line will surely be his timely remark that "I was going to speak in Arizona but I thought I'd be deported."

I realize that had I not gone to Emory, and been present at work, Class Day and graduation - three things I really had little choice over whether or not to go - I wouldn't have come face to face with these celebs. So really (Dad, I hope you're reading this), that $200 grand was TOTALLY worth it.